It truly sounds nice to hear, ‘The Perfect Relationship’. A place where nothing goes wrong, there are no fights, to expectations, no clashes, and everything goes like it does in some dreamy Disney Fairytale.

Reality? Not so perfect. And trust me every person in the relationship or getting into relationship wishes their relationship could be the Disney perfect with their Mister or Miss Perfect. But it never is. It never can be.

I talked to a friend recently, one who has the best relationship I can think of, and wanted to get his views on how to have a good, healthy, near perfect relationship without any clashes. He just laughed.

He told me there is no perfect relationship, there is no togetherness where insecurities, fights, miscommunication don’t happen. I went on to ask him (and his girlfriend who joined us soon) a few more questions,

‘Do you ever fight?’
‘Nearly every single day at the start. Now weekly once is our sweet time.”

‘How do you manage to stay together then?’
‘Because we know what the other person truly is. What their heart is. We learn from the fights. Sometimes it’s because I am not able to give her time and forget her need. Sometimes it’s because of how I interrupt her or forget to give her the attention she so much deserves.’

‘The secret to staying together for years is taking a pause when we feel like we are growing apart.’ She said. ‘We pause, think, communicate, and address the feelings. We have made it a pact to always communicate and address the feelings – without getting defensive or offensive.’

They recalled an incident which had taken them on a brink of break-up. Things piling up that had to burst and both had taken the decision to part ways. It was cruel on both of them and too painful to go through.

But then one thing saved them, both sat down and wrote down all the reasons they would want to be together, things that they loved in the other person the most.

Result? During fighting with each other, they had forgotten all the beautiful moments they had with each other. The blame game and ‘I want to end this’ moments – had made them overlook everything that was beautiful between them and had kept them focusing on only the darkness.

They communicated, realised their mistakes, accepted them, and started again. This time the bond was stronger. Since then they never let anything like that break them apart.

The girl also mentioned one beautiful thing to me. No one can be perfect for you. Every person has some flaws and some issues. But you have to find ways to address and accept those flaws and bend things to stay together. Staying rock hard and not willing to change or compromise will always make things break cruelly.

So, in summary. The perfect relationship, the right one, it’s all a myth. It’s all about accepting that person, communicating when things go wrong, accepting mistakes and not blaming only the other person. No fight is caused because of one person. You must accept that. And during those fights you must realise the good things that you have than focusing on the wrong ones.

Wishing you all the happiest relationship.

If you love reading about love and its various shades, do checkout my poetry book Silk and Petals. A bestselling book that takes you on an unforgettable ride.